Abuse

The following anonymous e-mail remains on file, but behind it lay years of both sexual and physical ABUSE.

I waited a few days till I came off the medication I was on to see how I felt. I owe you a great big hug and a thank you as you have given me back strength and I have started to smile again and look forward to life. Your method should be recognized worldwide as I have been to see numerous psychologists and counselors etc, only to end locking myself in a room taking antidepressants and sleeping pills for years, just to deal with the day ahead. Now I look forward to my life instead of it being filled with dread, so thank you for your help and I will be singing your praises to anyone who will listen :) Thank you so much :)

Physical abuse leaves marks for all to see, but emotional abuse does not. The old saying, “Time heals all things” may be true as far as physical scars go, but definitely not for emotional scars. Emotional scars stay buried in the psyche, out of sight for sure, but a constant hidden source of numerous emotional problems. Some emotional abuse is quite subtle, for instance constantly voiced criticism and irrational control; “Don’t do that”, “Stop doing that!” or “You’ll never amount to anything!” These are abuse of one’s own self-determinism and self esteem that leaves emotional scars, which never go away, but the most devastating form of abuse is sexual and of all the forms of sexual abuse, it is rape that is the worst.

This is because rape involves both emotional and physical violation of the very core of one’s nature, so that the sense of humiliation and degradation it causes cannot be adequately described. What can be described though is the feeling of relief so evident after a victim has shed all the emotional turmoil that has been bottled up. For instance the sight of a woman in her seventies suddenly developing a spring in her step after discarding seventy years of emotional garbage is beyond the need for words. It was almost unnecessary for her to state, “That has affected my attitude to men all my life!” A young woman volunteering, “You have just lifted 16 years of shame and remorse, 16 years of feeling degraded.” another lady said “I can love myself now.”

These stories are common after a Mace Energy Method™ handling, but what it does not have in common with other counseling modalities is that neither client had to describe their ordeal. In the first case, what transpired was never related, although it was obvious what had happened, but in the second case it was only when the woman, after a few moments contemplation, probably deciding whether to tell me or not, added “I was 17. I was raped!” The fact that she was able to break 16 years of silence said it all. Surprising as the lack of narrative may sound, Mace Energy Method™ therapy is devoid of self-disclosure, for not only do clients not have to describe their ordeal, they are in fact discouraged from doing so. We are only interested in emotional effects, not what happened. Narration is of absolutely no therapeutic value whatsoever, but it can and usually does make the client feel worse. Even the thought of admitting they were sexually abused causes many a person to hang their head, or avert your eyes, never mind having to relive the trauma.

Shame is why so many cases of sexual violation are never reported, but remain bottled up their dark secret. It is only when the victim gets around to seeking help for emotional problems that the sexual incident emerges. As often as not, it is the key to most of their troubles.